Curiosity
by kawaiinoodle
Summary: Ciel is officially an adult. An adult who has never been in a relationship. When Sebastian reveals his attraction to Ciel, Ciel isn't sure what to do. Should he let his curiosity get the better of him, or should he turn Sebastian away, staying true to his cold nature? YAOI, Rated M for future chapters.
1. Uninvited

The sky was black, dense with fog, and heavy with clouds ready to burst. There was an eerie quiet amid the yard around Phantomhive Manor. Ciel stood at his bedroom window, a serene expression on his face. This was his favorite kind of weather, the dark, murky, cold. He reveled in it.

He pressed his face against the window, fogging up the glass. He drew a little smiley face with his finger.

"How unlike you, Lord Phantomhive."

Ciel whisked around, startled. "What are you doing up?" He snapped.

Sebastian strode into the room, silently shutting the door behind him. "Sleep is a waste of time," he muttered. "There is positively so much work to complete. I can't count on the other servants to do it, now can I?"

Ciel sighed, absentmindedly putting a hand up to his face, searching for his patch. He hadn't worn it for a few years, growing weary of its constant presence. He let the sign of his contract show, simply telling people it was a scar from a past mutilation. They didn't inquire any further. "I'm exhausted, Sebastian. And I can't seem to figure out why."

"Well, my Lord, if I might say something."

Ciel rolled his eyes. "Get on with it!"

"You have been through so very much. You've lost things so dear, seen things no child should ever see, it would be strange if you weren't tired." Sebastien moved closer to Ciel, just barely avoiding his personal space.

"Where the hell is this sudden gush of humanity coming from, Sebastian? Frankly, it's quite embarrassing." Ciel had turned though, facing away from Sebastian, not wanting him to see how completely truthful he was.

"In all of our years together, I've had so much time to learn, to study humans. For all of their peculiarities, flaws, and simple mindedness, they are quite interesting. Especially you, young Lord Phantomhive." Sebastian tried to see Ciel's face.

Ciel walked to the other side of the room, as far away from Sebastian as he could get. "Where is this coming from?" He asked, quietly.

"Whatever do you mean, Ciel?"

"How dare you! How dare you use my name, demon!" Ciel stomped the floor.

Sebastian laughed, flashing perfect white teeth. "As if you really care about that. Why don't you stop being so childish? Isn't it time to grow up? You are eighteen, after all."

"Me, childish? You're delusional, Sebastian. Completely mad. Get out of my room. When I wake up tomorrow, you'd better be back to normal. Do you understand that? I don't ever want you to talk like this again." Ciel opened the door, gesturing for Sebastian to leave.

But he did not leave. "We both know why I came here, Ciel."

"What are you on about?"

Sebastian slid on of his gloves off, getting the other one with his teeth. He revealed his black fingernails and contract sign. His red eyes glinted mischievously, like a cat. "You know what I'm on about," he whispered.

Ciel closed the door, accidentally. He jumped slightly, at the sound of the door clicking shut. "Get out, Sebastian. Get out this instant, or I swear-"

"What? We are bound together, are we not? Why don't we just enjoy this time we have together? It would be so much better than moping about, complaining all the time. We could have _so_ much fun."

"You just get madder every moment. What do I need to say to get you out of here?"

Sebastian gave a playful smirk. "Not say, but do."

Ciel's face reddened. _What are you planning? _But he knew exactly what was on Sebastian's mind. Part of him thought it was sick, the other part of him was curious, maybe a bit excited at the prospect. "What do I need to do?"

_To be continued..._


	2. Pleasure

_Thanks for the reviews and follows, you guys are amazing! This is my first smut, so please be kind. There will be more to come ^-^_

* * *

"Suck me."

Ciel's eyes widened in anger. "What on earth do you mean?" But he knew exactly what Sebastian meant, and again, that curious feeling washed over him.

Sebastian licked his lips. "Get on your knees, young Master."

"Now you're giving _me_ orders?!"

"You did already agree to this," Sebastian said, lust flickering in his eyes.

"But, this is-this is wrong. _I _do not take orders from _you_. You're my servant. I will not get on my knees."

The lust in Sebastian's red eyes, extinguished. "Do you want me to leave, or not?"

Ciel frowned, shutting his eyes, tightly. "I command you to leave. You cannot disobey me, Sebastian!" But he was growing more and more curious with every word he spoke. What if he did get on his knees? What if he did suck Sebastian's-_ No._ _I won't._

"But, Ciel-"

Fury erupted over Ciel's face. "Didn't I tell you not to call me by my name? Are you that dense?"

Sebastian touched his hand to Ciel's face, caressing it, feeling the porcelain skin, so soft, so beautiful.

Ciel jerked away, grabbing Sebastian's hand and twisting it. "You have no right," he said forcefully, and yet his voice wavered.

"I have every right." Sebastian, ignoring the pain of having his wrist twisted, took his other hand and began to slide it back and forth, caressing Ciel's neck and throat, sliding his fingers downwards, through the cotton shirt. "Yes, my young Lord, I have every right," he mumbled, admiring Ciel's beautiful skin.

The younger man made a small sound at the back of his throat, involuntarily. He dropped Sebastian's injured hand, succumbing to submission. "Alright, Sebastian. You win. I'll do whatever you ask."

Sebastian's fingers stopped moving, resting right on top of Ciel's collarbone. A smile crept onto his lips. He repeated his earlier order. "Get on your knees and suck me, _Master_," he said the last word sarcastically.

And just like that, the pretense of Sebastian actually being a servant, vanished. He was as much a butler as he was human, which, of course, meant he was not. He looked down at Ciel as the young man's legs began to wobble with nervousness. He relished in the fact that he had won. He had won over the little brat. _No. He is not a brat. He is a man now, a deliciously handsome man. And I want him. I want him to submit to my desires. I want him to __**beg**_.

Ciel finally knelt. When his knees hit the floor, he realized he had lost. Ciel Phantomhive had lost. Ciel, the cold, brutal, teenage boy who so hated to lose. And yet, he did not feel what he should be feeling. He should have felt horrible, empty inside, but he didn't. He felt strangely, well, good.

He wanted this, he wanted to pleasure his own servant. Disgusting, and yet not. Somehow it was inevitable. Somehow he always knew it would come to this. After spending so much time together, attraction was inevitable.

Suddenly, Ciel looked up. "Do you actually like me, Sebastian?" For the first time, his words were not harsh.

Sebastian rolled his eyes, but not unkindly. "Demons are not capable of love."

"I didn't say 'love.' I said 'like.'"

"Why don't we just get on with this? I know you are nervous, young Master. I can see it written on your face, as well as your trembling body. But I know you want this. Curiosity got you." He touched the top of Ciel's head, running his fingers through his raven hair for a moment, before gently pulling Ciel's head downwards toward his pants.

"Do you like me, or not, Sebastian? Why would you come in here, uninvited, and ask me for this if you didn't feel some kind of attraction towards me?" Ciel raised his head, looking away from the bulge in Sebastian's pants.

"I just want some fun. We have so little fun, Ciel. This could be a good thing, for both of us. It's a great way to release tension, God knows you need to loosen up."

Why was Sebastian acting so out of character? So human-like? It was strange, yet welcoming at the same time. And there it was again, the use of Ciel's name; but this time, it did not bother him, it was almost...nice.

Suddenly, Ciel dove his head downwards, pressing it to Sebastian's bulge. He burrowed there for a moment, trying to figure out how to get rid of the material encasing it. "How?" He whispered.

Sebastian felt pure delight at the sight of a helpless Ciel. "I'll do it," he whispered back. He unbuttoned his own pants and slid them down his thighs, revealing his underwear. "Surely you know how to get those off?"

"I'm not an idiot," Ciel snapped. With shaking fingers, he slid Sebastian's boxers off. There was a sharp intake of breath at the sight of Sebastian's exposed erection. Ciel almost had to look away. _Why am I enjoying this?_ What did he do next, anyway? He had never been in this situation, had absolutely no idea how to react.

"And you said you weren't an idiot," Sebastian muttered.

Ciel briefly glanced up at Sebastian's shining face, before pressing his lips to Sebastian's cock, kissing the full length of it. It felt positively wondrous. He could only imagine if Sebastian was feeling anything.

"So unpracticed, aren't we?" Sebastian said. "Suck it."

"Shut up, Sebastian."Ciel planted a few more kisses before enclosing his mouth over the tip and gently biting.

Sebastian gave an involuntary shudder.

_So I'm doing it right, than._ Ciel bit down just a little bit harder, and then darted his tongue over it, licking it like he would candy. It tasted so delicious, better than any sweet ever could. He took the full length into his mouth, savoring all of it.

Sebastian began to buck his hips, swaying slightly. "Young Master, you learn so quickly!"

Ciel, completely caught up in the moment, turned his eyes up to Sebastian. It was the first time he had ever seen Sebastian truly...what was it, anyway? Excited? Pleasured? He looked back down, closing his eyes, and closing his mouth around the wonderful cock.

After a few seconds, Ciel, hesitantly put a hand over it. "Do you like this?" He murmured.

Sebastian replied with a small groan.

_That means yes._ He closed his grip over the cock, caressing it, as his tongue danced over it. Eventually, he made room for his other hand, so that no part of Sebastian's length was unattended. He pumped with both hands, making Sebastian nearly burst with ecstasy.

Ciel fastened his ministrations, kissing the tip with passion and making it so very wet. He bit down again, making Sebastian moan. He made a small sound in the back of his own throat. _Am I getting pleasured from this as well?_ He removed a hand, touching it to his own erection. He fingered himself for a moment, letting little sounds escape from him.

Those sounds nearly sent Sebastian over the edge. "Almost there," Sebastian breathed, hips bucking rapidly. He reached down, forcing Ciel's hand back to the unattended part of his own length. "Don't worry about yourself," he muttered. He took his own hand and touched Ciel's erection, sending shivers through both their bodies.

Ciel pumped harder, faster onto Sebastian. He pressed his tongue to the tip, lapping the wetness and stirring it around in his own mouth. "You taste so good," he groaned. His own hips had started to buck, he started to thrust into Sebastian's palm, trying to get all of the pleasure he could out of the feeling.

Sebastian moaned. "Just a little bit more, Master. Just a little bit-" Come suddenly gushed out of him, straight into Ciel's mouth.

Ciel licked at it, excitedly. He caught all he could, swallowing everything. "So wonderful," he moaned. He released Sebastian's cock, letting it hang limply, slowly pulling Sebastian's boxers back up, rubbing his thighs as he did so.

"Now wasn't that fun?" Sebastian said, eyes glinting knowingly; he removed his hand from Ciel's bulge.

"What-what are you doing? Why are you stopping?" Ciel quickly attended to his own cock.

Sebastian laughed. "I wanted you to pleasure me. You can finish yourself off if you'd like."

"You-you, idiot!" Ciel yelled. "Come back here and finish me off!"

"Not tonight," Sebastian winked.

"Fine. Then we'll make a deal. Whenever I need to be pleasured, I ask you. Whenever you need to be pleasured, you ask me."

Sebastian's eyes widened in mock surprise. "Is my young Master really offering this? You will really just pleasure me when I ask you?"

Ciel rolled his eyes. "I believe I made that clear. Now get out of my room!"

"Of course, _**Ciel**_." Sebastian pulled up his pants, turning towards the door. "Sleep well", he added as an afterthought, before silently shutting the door behind him.


	3. Scream

_In which Ciel finds himself falling for Sebastian...and loses his virginity.  
_

* * *

Sleepless nights did not make Ciel happy. He flung his sheets away as soon as the sun's rays were visible through the curtains. He did not like the sun, he did not like daytime, and he certainly did not like what had transpired last night.

It wasn't the act he had performed on Sebastian, no, that had been pure ecstasy. It was the way Sebastian had just left, so...unceremoniously. As if what had happened meant nothing. It was just another agreement, another contract. But he had made this agreement. He could not change his mind, that would mean that he would let Sebastian win again. _You pleasure me when I ask, I pleasure you when you ask. _What about when both of them wanted pleasure? What happened after blow jobs weren't enough anymore? _What the hell are you thinking, Ciel? You think he's going to have sex with you? You're disgusting._

But he didn't feel that way. He wanted Sebastian to touch him, kiss him, hold him. He wanted to explore all of Sebastian- _Don't give in, Ciel. He doesn't feel anything toward you, he's using you. _And for some reason, Ciel was okay with that. _In fact, it's better this way, isn't it? No commitment, no pretense of love, just sex. That's all anybody really wants anyway._

He didn't call for Sebastian to dress him. There was no way he was going to let Sebastian touch him right now, not with the thoughts running through his mind. He was afraid, afraid that if those hands touched him, he would be sent over the edge. He would run mad with emotion, he would wrap his body around Sebastian's and- _Later. You can do that later, Ciel._

He quickly left the room, completely unready for the day. After all, there was really no point, was there? Why get dressed if you weren't going anywhere? Vain, shallow, selfish, Ciel; diminished to vulnerable, lustful, longing, Ciel. But he didn't care anymore, even if he was just Sebastian's toy. Because it was time for Ciel Phantomhive to grow up.

"Young master, you're late! Breakfast has already grown cold!" Mey-Rin quickly swooped up a tray of pancakes and muffins, whisking them off to the kitchen. "I shall prepare a fresh meal, nothing but the best for Young master!"

Ciel put a hand up, halting her. "No, just take it to the study. I don't really have an appetite at the moment."

Mey-Rin set the tray down, a concerned look flooding over her. "Young master? Are you alright? You look a bit nauseous."

"Is our young lord not well?" Sebastian strode in from nowhere.

Ciel's face flushed. In one fluid motion, Sebastian had positioned himself directly behind Ciel, putting a hand on his shoulder.

"I'm fine!" Ciel snapped. "Just take the breakfast to the study."

"Shouldn't Sebastian do it? He's usually the one who-"

"No! No, you do it, Mey-Rin. Sebastian is _**busy**_ today." Ciel stood up, forcing Sebastian to pull his hand away.

Mey-Rin picked up the tray again, rushing away to the study.

When she had gone, a satisfied smirk extended over Sebastian's lips. "'Sebastian is busy today,'" he mimicked. "Was that an indirect command? Does Ciel wish to be pleasured?"

Ciel's face went a shade of scarlet. "Why do you keep switching? First I'm 'Young Master,' then 'Ciel.' Why do you do that?"

Sebastian's smirk grew wider. "To get a rise out of you. It's obviously working, isn't it?"

Ciel slammed his fist into the table. "You're an idiot."

"Why is your face so red?" Sebastian placed his hand on Ciel's forehead. "Oh dear, our young master feels very warm. Is it a fever? Is that why you didn't even bother dressing today? Or did you do that on purpose?"

"Stop mocking me."

Sebastian smiled. He took his hand away from Ciel's forehead, moving it to Ciel's crotch, grabbing it, swiftly.

An involuntary moan escaped Ciel's lips. He quickly cleared his throat, face turning fuchsia. "Not here," he whispered harshly.

"So this _is_ a command then. Young master wants me." Sebastian moved his hand away from Ciel's crotch. "You're already aroused. Goodness, Ciel, you get off quite easily."

Mey-Rin appeared back in the room, hands empty. "Breakfast is in the study, young master, is there anything else you require? I'll get it for you, I will-"

Ciel cut her off. "Take the rest of the day off, Mey-Rin. Tell the others they have the day to themselves as well."

"Oh thank you, thank you, young master! You're the best, the absolute best!" Mey-Rin danced away.

Ciel rolled his eyes. "And for some reason I stick with you people." He stood up, beckoning Sebastian after him. When they reached the study, Ciel pushed the breakfast to the floor.

"Such a waste," Sebastian muttered.

"What? You want it?"

"No, no, Ciel. I want _you_."

Ciel smiled, only slightly. "It's my turn to be pleasured. You had your fun last night when you left me."

"What? Young master is still sulking about that? All right then, what would you have us do today?"

Ciel took a step towards the older man, using all of his restraint not to kiss him. "Are you using me, Sebastian?"

Sebastian was caught off guard. "Whatever do you mean?"

"Don't play stupid. You're a demon, you can't love, so why-"

"I already told you yesterday, I just wanted to have some fun." Sebastian moved in, closing the space between the two of them.

"Is that really it?" Ciel whispered, tasting Sebastian's breath.

"I assure you, Ciel. Now tell me, what would you have me do?"

Ciel kissed him, hard.

Sebastian gasped against him, parting his lips to let Ciel in.

The younger man pressed Sebastian against the wall, sliding his hands under the older man's shirt, feeling the hard muscles, running his hands up and down Sebastian's waist. He found Sebastian's nipples, gently rubbing them, making them stiffen with his touch.

Sebastian gasped again, kissing Ciel back, tongue darting around Ciel's cavern, exploring every part of it. Loving its taste. He circled around Ciel's teeth, trying to taste everything.

They fell to the floor. "Take off your clothes, Sebastian." Ciel's voice was breathless. "I think you know what I want you to do today."

Sebastian nodded, obliging Ciel's order. He ripped off his jacket and shirt, flinging them across the room.

Ciel planted small kisses all over Sebastian's abdomen and stomach, eyes flickering with lust. He licked Sebastian's nipples, planting wet, sloppy kisses all over them.

Sebastian moaned, sliding his pants and underwear down, revealing his throbbing erection.

"Now take off my clothes," Ciel panted.

Sebastian, gently nibbling the tip of Ciel's ear, whispered. "Do you really want this, young master?"

"Yes, bloody hell, Sebastian. Just take off my clothes!"

Sebastian slid his expert hands over Ciel's clothing, gently biting the soft cloth, he ripped Ciel's shirt with his teeth, making Ciel gasp. He tore Ciel's pants down, fingering Ciel's stomach for a moment before sliding the underwear down in one swift motion.

Ciel's cock was fully exposed; he suddenly felt very embarrassed.

Sebastian could read his mind. "I've seen it so many times, Ciel. This is no different." He planted a reassuring kiss onto Ciel's neck.

Ciel nuzzled into the kiss, running his hands through Sebastian's hair. He reached up, touching trembling fingers to Sebastian's collarbone, gently rubbing it.

Sebastian laughed into him. "Our young master has a collarbone fetish!"

Ciel reached up again, pulling Sebastian completely on top of him. "Just shut up."

Sebastian responded by gliding his cock over Ciel's, grinding them together.

Both men moaned. "I-I want you to-" Ciel couldn't say anymore, a soft groan escaping him, feeling the friction as their cocks rubbed against each other.

"I know," Sebastian replied. And with one swift motion, he had Ciel turned around, resting on his stomach. He took his fingers, placing them near Ciel's entrance.

The younger man responded by bucking his hips up and down. Sebastian rested his hand on Ciel's cheeks, "Don't move," he whispered.

He gently stuck one finger into Ciel, sending spasms through Ciel's body. "Does it hurt?'

Ciel responded with a pained groan.

"It won't hurt in a while." Sebastian added another finger, sliding both fingers in and out in a scissoring motion. He positioned his own cock over Ciel's entrance, teasing it.

"Just do it!" Ciel cried.

Sebastian smiled. "Of course, _Ciel_." He scissored with his fingers for a few more moments, trying to loosen Ciel. "Relax," he cooed. He pried his fingers away, making Ciel shudder with pain.

The younger man grit his teeth. "Please, Sebastian."

A self-satisfied grin spread over Sebastian's face. "I do believe that is the first time young master has ever said the word, 'please.'" With that he thrust inwards. "You are so tight, master," he mumbled, delighting in it.

Ciel screamed, vision going black, momentarily. "Fuck!" His body was in utter pain, his eyes swimming with tears.

"So vulgar, aren't we?" Sebastian said, thrusting harder. "Does it still hurt?"

Ciel's screams began to subside, he soon grew accustomed to the feeling of being filled. Pain turned to pleasure, his body growing hotter with each thrust. "Faster," he mumbled.

"Of course," Sebastian sped up, rapidly thrusting deeper and deeper, looking for Ciel's sweet spot. He hit it, causing Ciel's body to writhe with pleasure, making him moan deeply. He used his hands as well, one steadying Ciel's shivering body, the other underneath Ciel, squeezing his cock.

Ciel's eyes rolled back, his mind trying to process the surge of ecstasy hitting him from both sides, he made a tiny sound in the back of his throat.

The older man penetrated as deep as he possibly could, repeatedly hitting Ciel's sweet spot. He was about to reach his own limit. "Master," he breathed, "I can't go for much longer."

"More, Sebastian, more-" Ciel's body was on fire, he was almost there. _Just a little bit more_.

Suddenly, Sebastian came, unloading his seed into Ciel's body. It was enough to send Ciel over the edge.

He came a moment later, his own seed spilling all over the floor.

Sebastian thrust a few more times before pulling out, exhausted. He fell to the ground next to Ciel, kissing him once on the lips.

Ciel, surprised, returned the kiss. "I-I don't know what to say."

Sebastian laughed. "Our young Ciel, without words, what a change. I have work to do, I'll call for you later."

Ciel blinked. "Twice in one day?"

"Is that a problem?"

"It's just-...never mind."

Sebastian grinned, gathering his clothes. "I'll have to clean up this mess, and you should really learn how to be more quiet."

Ciel rolled his eyes, he wasn't quite in the mood to tell Sebastian to shut up. "You _do_ have feelings for me, Sebastian. I can see them."

Sebastian looked at Ciel for a moment, then turned away, dressing himself. He walked out without another word leaving Ciel naked and empty.


	4. Confliction

_No lemons this time around, I can't spoil you too much, now can I? *winks* But there are definitely cute, fluffy moments. So read away, lovely people!  
_

* * *

Another morning, another sleepless night. There were dark circles under Ciel's eyes, making him look paler than usual. Guilt was killing him inside, leaving him an empty shell. He had lost his virginity, something that could never be taken back...to a male. To a demon, nonetheless! It was preposterous, hideous, so unbearably ugly.

He was engaged, to Lady Elizabeth. It was she he should have been thinking about. It was she he was supposed to lose his virginity to. They were supposed to get married, have children, raise heirs to the Phantomhive estate. He was not supposed to be fooling around with anyone, let alone a demon!

And yet, it had felt so right; what had happened. Ciel remembered those tender moments, kissing Sebastian, feeling every inch of his body, exploring him. He remembered that intimate moment when his body had turned to fire, the sensation of being filled. He would never be able to feel those things with Elizabeth.

Ciel had absolutely no romantic feelings for her, sexual or otherwise. They had shared kisses, chaste, quick pecks on the lips. They had held hands, taken strolls through gardens, and shared moonlit picnics together. Ciel had tolerated all of it, never feeling more than a slight annoyance. He had rolled his eyes at all of it, just wanting to get on with things. There was no point in any of it, love was not something to be displayed with mere décor and decadence. _I know nothing of love._

To Ciel, love was meaningless. Or at least, it had been. But the events of the past two days had been nothing short of adrenaline fueled emotion. He was growing up, ridding himself of the cold exterior he had for so long put on display. He was still rude, harsh, and cruel. But he also found that he had a heart. A heart very capable of love. _Listen to yourself, Ciel. So mushy. You get more pathetic by the day._

He sighed, standing up from his bed, stretching. He would dress himself today. He would avoid Sebastian until he got over his pathetic guilt.

"Young master?"

Ciel jerked upwards, toe bumping into the wardrobe. He swore under his breath. "No, Sebastian."

A smile played at the corner of Sebastian's lips. "_That_ isn't what I came here for. I came to tell you that Lady Elizabeth is going to be paying a visit. The young lady is on her way right now, I'm sure she'll be here sometime tomorrow. I suggest you wear something nice. Do you wish me to assist you-"

Ciel jumped away. "I lost my virginity to you, Sebastian."

An expression of mock surprise took Sebastian's face. "That was quite obvious, young master."

"Shut up," Ciel muttered half-heartedly. "I'm engaged."

"And?"

Ciel nearly stomped his foot, before quickly recovering, remembering he was trying to be more mature. "I do not wish to hurt Elizabeth."

Sebastian laughed aloud. "False nobility does not suit you, _Ciel."_ He strode over to Ciel, cupping his chin, caressing it for a moment.

Ciel cast his gaze to the floor, pulling away after a prolonged moment. "She doesn't deserve to be hurt."

"If it bothers you that much, break off your engagement. Either that, or continue going behind her back forever. Because we both know you aren't going to give this up." Sebastian smirked, and turned away. "I'll be back later."

"Don't come back today," Ciel said, warning creeping into his voice, "After yesterday, I don't think I can-"

Sebastian laughed again. "We had an agreement. I expect you to live up to your end, young master." He slammed the door behind him.

Ciel was left in a cold chill. He was falling in love with a terribly poisonous man. Sebastian Michaelis was not someone he should get involved with. But he already had. And he loved it. He would live up to his own agreement, he would let Sebastian in again. He would do whatever Sebastian wanted. And Sebastian would do whatever Ciel wanted. They would go on like that forever.

Guilt would become a remnant of a bygone era. Ciel already knew it. As soon as he rationalized their relationship, justified it, everything would be alright. Elizabeth wouldn't even be in the equation.

He would marry her, he would pretend to love her, pretend that he was attracted to her. Their whole marriage, built on lies. Fine.

And yet, Ciel didn't want to hurt her. They were cousins, he had known her for such a long time. And despite her irritating demeanor, her overreaching personality, and her atrocious blond curls, she was his friend. He cared for her. She was one of two people Ciel cared about.

_What if I did break the engagement?_ She would be heartbroken. She wouldn't recover. Lizzy loved Ciel, more than the world. He didn't understand why she did, how could she love such an evil person? But she did, seeming to ignore all of his problems, all of his idiosyncrasies. She brushed aside the horrible crimes he had committed. _A normal person would pick her over Sebastian. She's the real prize. So why the hell am I attracted to him? Why do my thoughts turn to him every moment? Why am I thinking about his tongue and the things it does to me? God, Ciel, get your act together._

He didn't realize that hours had passed. He hadn't bothered eating the whole day, he still hadn't finished dressing himself. He had his underwear and socks on, nothing else. He lay back into bed, deciding that some actual sleep might clear his mind. Maybe after a good sleep he would be able to decide exactly what it was he wanted. _Do I stay with Elizabeth, or do I end it? _Ciel already had one thing figured out though, he would be with Sebastian no matter what. That was one thing that would be stable, constant. But did he sleep with Sebastian behind Lizzy's back, or did he get her out of the picture?

Obviously there would be consequences, ugly ones, if he broke the engagement. The Phantomhive name would die. Ciel's beloved manor would go to ruin. His estate would be sold. In seventy years when he was dead and gone, his name would mean nothing. _But that doesn't really matter, does it? Because you would be happy. You would have Sebastian. He's more important than your name._

_But I won't really be happy, will I? He doesn't love me, he never will. To him, what we have will never be more than a contract. Can I really be happy like that?_ Of course not, but he was holding on to the smallest glimmer of hope that maybe, just maybe, Sebastian would love him someday. He was going to try to make it work.

Just as Ciel was finally drifting off, Sebastian reentered. "Can I come in?" He motioned towards the bed.

Ciel turned, rolling away from Sebastian. "I told you I couldn't today."

"What on earth are you sulking about, Ciel?"

_Is that actual concern in your voice?_ "I already told you. It's about Lady Elizabeth."

Sebastian, without waiting for a reply to his first question, pulled the covers back, inserting himself next to Ciel, mustering all of his restraint not to pounce on the younger man. "Forget her," he whispered. He kissed Ciel's exposed neck, softly, slowly.

Warmness tugged at Ciel. "Can this please be all we do today, Sebastian?"

"That's the second time," Sebastian murmured. "Of course, young master." He wrapped his arms around Ciel's smaller frame, holding him gently.

Sometime later, Ciel fell asleep against him, finally being able to have an escape.

Sebastian wished him sweet dreams, eventually untangling himself from the younger man. He stood in the doorway for several minutes, watching Ciel sleep. He almost stayed.


	5. Risk

_In which Ciel and Sebastian nearly get caught. And Ciel still can't make a decision. _

_And thank you all so much for the reviews, favorites, and follows. I hope you continue to enjoy this story, I know I have fun writing it ;)_

* * *

"Young master, you're late for breakfast again! Are you sure you're alright?" Mey-Rin set a fresh tray down onto the table.

Ciel pushed it away. "I'm not hungry, Mey-Rin."

"Of course. I'll just take it back to the kitchen, then. Unless you want it in the study?"

Ciel's face blushed slightly, remembering what had taken place in the study. "No. Just take it away. When will Lady Elizabeth be arriving?"

Mey-Rin shrugged. "Sebastian knows, master. Shall I fetch him for you?"

"No. Tell Sebastian to go into town, fetch some supplies. Make sure he takes the whole day."

Mey-Rin curtsied and scurried away.

Ciel eyed himself in the mirror. He had dressed completely for the first time in days. He had not done a very good job of it, as his shirt was wrinkled, his coat sleeves not quite folded correctly, and his pant legs uneven. He was still a helpless child, despite being eighteen.

The manor was quiet, with Finnian and Baldroy out somewhere in the gardens, Mey-Rin going off to find Sebastian, and Sebastian himself somewhere in his room, no doubt preoccupying himself with whatever it was he did when he wasn't at Ciel's side. Ciel almost felt peaceful. But of course, that would not last.

Elizabeth would arrive, and he would have to make his decision. Or begin his long life of lies. Regardless, he would feel sick to his stomach.

Ciel dipped his hands into his pockets, slowly making his way to the front doors, preparing to meet his betrothed. He hadn't been outside in days, the sun was nearly blinding. He almost wished for the eye patch he used to wear, after all, it had shaded him. He slumped himself against the brick wall, waiting for however long it took for Elizabeth to arrive.

It didn't take very long. Less than five minutes later, she arrived. Her carriage, large and elaborate, the horses pulling it, unnaturally handsome, and Elizabeth herself, stepping out in a puffy, pale lavender dress.

The sight would have taken any other man's breath away. Ciel stood up, striding over to her, hand out, ready to help her down. She took it gracefully, beaming with joy.

"Oh, my Ciel, it's been far too long!" Elizabeth hugged Ciel tightly for a moment, before breaking away and gliding up to the doors.

Ciel followed behind her. "How are you, Elizabeth?"

"Goodness, Ciel. Are you ever going to call me Lizzy? You know I would much prefer it!"

"Lizz-Lizzy, how have you been?"

"I've been marvelous, of course, a little bit down since I don't always get to see your gorgeous face. This manor is positively dreary, you should honestly let a little more light in here-"

Ciel stopped listening to her words, seeing Sebastian out of the corner of his eye. _What the hell is he doing here? He should be out!_ He looked away, pretending the man wasn't there, turning back to Elizabeth, still not listening to a word she said.

"Lady Elizabeth, how wonderful it is to see you." Sebastian had swooped in silently, like a bat. "Your room has already been made up. Please excuse my inquiry, but how long shall you be staying?"

Ciel's face darkened. Elizabeth never stayed more than a few hours.

"Thank you, Sebastian. I do think I will be staying indefinitely, after all, we should be getting married soon, shouldn't we, Ciel?"

Ciel was taken aback. "But I haven't even proposed-"

"No need, I'm a modern woman. We're already betrothed as it is!"

"But don't you fancy a wedding, Miss?" Sebastian was clearly enjoying the conversation.

"All I need is my Ciel." With that Elizabeth thrust her suitcase into Sebastian's arms, and her other one into Ciel's. "I'm going to freshen up, I'll be back here for lunch." She walked away, hips swinging, heels clicking.

"Well then, young master, you've found yourself in quite the predicament, haven't you?" A sarcastic grin came over Sebastian's lips. "This should be fun."

Ciel rolled his eyes. "Take this to her room." He threw the suitcase and trod away, not wanting to look at Sebastian more than he had to.

But of course, he wanted very much to look at Sebastian, he would be content if that was all he ever saw. He stopped walking, knowing he would regret it later. "Kiss me," he mumbled.

Sebastian obliged, quickly slipping into Ciel's embrace, kissing him full force.

Ciel's legs turned to jelly, his face burned, and his arousal grew with every second. "What am I going to do?" He murmured into Sebastian's shoulder after the kiss had ended.

"I already told you, _Ciel_, either break the engagement or go behind her back."

"But don't you understand?!" Ciel tore himself from Sebastian, anger quickly flooding him. "There are consequences! To whatever I decide! You're a part of this too, Sebastian. Don't pretend to be so indifferent, so uncaring! Don't leave me again, like you keep doing. Don't leave me feeling cold and empty, stay with me damn it! _Please._"

Sebastian's eyes widened in apparent surprise. "Young master is changing. Growing up." He took a step backwards. "Are you in love with me, Ciel?"

Ciel closed his eyes, trying to push his tears away. "No" was his dishonest answer. But what he wanted to say was, _I love you more than anything. I'm willing to give up everything just to be with you. But you don't love me, you never will, you're inhuman, you're cruel, you're a demon. And I'll always be left alone naked and chilled to the bone, because that's just your nature._

Sebastian responded by kissing Ciel again, hungry and vicious, like an animal. "I know the truth," he whispered. He moved his hands under Ciel's shirt, running his fingers over Ciel's chest and erect nipples. He rest them their for a moment, circling them with his thumbs, making Ciel's back arch.

"Stop," Ciel moaned. "Stop it, Sebastian." He tried to pull away, only half-heartedly.

Sebastian moved his lips down Ciel's throat and neck, all the while slipping his hands farther down.

Ciel stiffened at the touch, "Elizabeth will find us," he whispered. His breath suddenly hitched, as his erection had been aroused. He closed his eyes, letting Sebastian continue, melting into the passion.

"Ciel, I'm coming down now, I do hope Sebastian has prepared something delicious for us!"

Ciel knocked Sebastian's hand away, mind returning to full alertness. He smoothed his ruffled shirt, and quickly ran fingers through his disheveled hair.

Sebastian planted one last kiss on Ciel's cheek before disappearing into the kitchen.

Elizabeth bounded down the staircase newly dressed in a sapphire gown, her hair wet and flat against her back. "Am I beautiful, Ciel?" She twirled around, giggling.

"Adorable," Ciel said, flatly.

"Lady Elizabeth, you look ravishing! Here is a wonderful lunch to go along with that wonderful gown. Fresh garden salad, tossed with the finest ingredients. And later we will dine on sponge cake and tea." Sebastian clapped his hands together and set two trays down, stopping momentarily over Ciel's shoulder, whispering, "And after we dine, there is unfinished business that needs taking care of."

"So, Ciel. When would you like to get married? Next week, tomorrow maybe?"

"Elizabeth-"

"Lizzy."

"Lizzy, no need to rush. We should hold a formal wedding event, send invitations, have lots of guests, a nice cake maybe-"

"Is this really Earl Ciel Phantomhive speaking?" Sebastian said, pouring punch into Ciel's glass.

Elizabeth giggled. "I thought you didn't like parties."

"But _you_ do."

Sebastian shot Ciel a knowing look. _Trying to give yourself more time to figure things out, it's pathetic._

"Alright. We'll have a wedding party. I'll invite every noble in England, do you think the Queen would come? Oh that would be fantastic, wouldn't it?"

Ciel fought the urge to roll his eyes. "You can invite the Queen if you'd like," he mumbled, playing with the salad on his plate.

Elizabeth clapped her hands. "We could have an ice sculpture, one of you and me, dancing. It would be absolutely romantic! And for our honeymoon we could go-"

Ciel tuned out, catching Sebastian's eye. _Shut up._

Sebastian smiled. "Lady Elizabeth, if you'd excuse us, young master has a Latin lesson today, and seeing as he is so very dedicated, we must leave you."

Elizabeth dropped her fork, mouth agape. "But Ciel, we've only just begun to catch up-"

"I'll make it up to you, Lizzy, but really, Latin is such an important subject. I cannot miss it."

"Couldn't you reschedule-"

"Sorry, young master likes to plan things ahead of time. Rescheduling is _not_ acceptable." Sebastian hurriedly left the room, Ciel bowing, followed after him.

When they reached the hallway, away from Elizabeth's gaze, Sebastian pushed Ciel against the wall, devouring him in a kiss.

Ciel jerked away. "What the hell, Sebastian! Elizabeth is right around the corner!"

"I couldn't wait any longer, young master. I simply could not contain my emotions. It _is _also my turn to be pleasured." Sebastian tried to catch Ciel's lips again.

Ciel ducked away. "What do you mean it's 'your turn?'"

"Well, before lunch-"

"We didn't finish."

"Sorry, but it's my turn. Unless of course, you want me inside you again? That was quite extraordinary."

Ciel blushed. "Shut up."

Sebastian smiled again, advancing onto Ciel.

The younger man, fingers not trembling as much as they had before, unbuttoned Sebastian's pants, letting his cock bounce out. Lust overtook him, he enclosed his whole mouth over it, swirling his tongue around, lapping up the wetness that had gathered.

Sebastian moaned against the sensation, sliding down the wall, onto the ground, laying himself on his back.

Ciel positioned himself on top of Sebastian, ducking his head over the older man's crotch, stroking it. "What if Elizabeth finds us?"

"She has no reason to come down this hallway."

"What if she goes to the study, and sees that we aren't there?"

"That's not important."

Ciel ducked back down, kissing Sebastian's cock, running his hands up Sebastian's shirt, trying to lift it up. Sebastian sat up, lifting Ciel's shirt.

"Lady Elizabeth, do you happen to know where young master and Sebastian went?"

Ciel jerked up, hearing Finnian's voice. He should have been out in the garden.

Sebastian pulled him back down.

"Oh yes, they went to the study, something about a Latin lesson, which is silly, because who needs Latin? And besides, my Ciel is an adult, no need for education, all though I do like an intelligent man, maybe he should go to college, my husband could be a professor someday, yes, yes, fantastic-"

"Thank you, my Lady." Finnian's footsteps bounded away.

"What happens when he doesn't find us in the study?" Ciel hissed, once again pulling his head away.

Sebastian groaned and tried to pull him back down, "Just finish me off first, Ciel!"

Ciel attempted to stand up, Sebastian grabbed him, and kissed him, making Ciel melt back into him.

"They aren't in the study. I really need Sebastian! There's a hedge that I just can't seem to trim right, it's a real bother, I just want to make young master proud of me!"

Elizabeth's footsteps came nearer. "No worries, Finny. I'll make sure my Ciel is always proud of you." She patted his back. "I'll go look at it if you'd like."

Finnian and Elizabeth were getting closer. "We'll just go through the back door, my Lady."

"Shit!" Ciel whispered, standing up hurriedly. "Get that back in your pants!"

Sebastian made a show of slowly buttoning his pants. He smirked, "Are we ever going to finish this?"

Finnian and Elizabeth turned the corner. "Young master, Sebastian! There you are, can you come outside and help me trim the hedges?"

"Don't I help you everyday Finnian?"

Finnian's face reddened, "Come on, Sebastian!"

Elizabeth took Ciel's hand. "Let's go for a stroll, we can admire Finny's wonderful work!"

They walked to the back door, Sebastian and Ciel falling back a ways behind. "We were almost caught, Sebastian!"

Sebastian laughed. "But it was fun, wasn't it?"

It was.


	6. Hurt

_Some more Ciel angst and Elizabeth screwing things up. And Sebastian being pretty much the bitchiest guy ever but Ciel loves him anyway. _

* * *

"Ciel, come over here! I want to show you something!"

Elizabeth's curls were especially obnoxious today. Ciel wanted to throw up. She had been here for only a week, and already Ciel could hardly bear it. And yet, for some reason, he didn't want to break her heart. _I'm such an idiot._

Where had this kindness come from anyway? Only a few years ago he had been an atrocious monster, almost as inhuman as Sebastian. So what had happened? Was it his love for Sebastian-_No. Stop thinking about him, Ciel. Elizabeth is right there in front of you. You should go to her. Choose her. She's safe, Sebastian is dangerous. Sebastian doesn't love you. Remember that. _

"I don't want to bloody remember that!"

Elizabeth looked up from the table, giving Ciel a bewildered look. "Remember what, Ciel?"

"Nothing, nothing at all. What was it you wanted to show me?" He moved to her side, although his heart told him to turn around and run to Sebastian's room, and-_ Stop it!_

"It's this necklace, it's gorgeous, right? I went into town this morning to buy it, I'm thinking of wearing it on our wedding day." Elizabeth unclasped her necklace, pouring it into Ciel's hand.

He looked it over, a little jade dove, around a silver chain. It _was _beautiful. "Yes, you should wear it." He turned it back over to her, and walked away, cold rushing over him. Elizabeth still did not know the truth. Ciel was a coward. He had gone behind her back the whole week, spending a full night in Sebastian's bedroom, Sebastian in his, and there were those stolen kisses almost every time they brushed against each other in the corridor, and those whispering in each other's ears when Sebastian would pour his drink.

But of course it wasn't satisfying. Because it was all a lie. Ciel was lying to Elizabeth, and himself. He was pretending that Sebastian loved him back, pretending that they were a couple, and pretending that those nights spent and kisses stolen, meant something, when in reality they only meant something to him.

"Young master?"

Ciel whisked around, nearly bumping into the wall. "What is it, Sebastian?"

"You look a bit pale, do you need me to-"

"Why can't a demon love?" Ciel said, suddenly.

Sebastian was taken aback. "Where is this coming from, young master?"

"Just answer the question, Sebastian."

"Because humans are worthless, abysmal creatures."

Tears threatened their way into Ciel's eyes. His voice became very small. "I am worthless?" Although he knew Sebastian did not love him, to hear him confirm it was the worst feeling in the world. He tried to blink the tears away.

For once, Sebastian didn't smirk, instead his face became devoid of any emotion whatsoever. "You are my toy." He turned and walked away, leaving Ciel alone, again.

"You bastard!" Ciel screamed, not caring that Elizabeth was in the room next to them. "You heartless bastard!" He let the tears fall, his face becoming a mess of little tear drops.

Sebastian turned, slightly, face still blank. "Were you ever under the pretense that I was anything but heartless?" He quickened his pace, disappearing around the corner.

Ciel fell to the ground, sobbing. _I hate you. I hate you. I HATE YOU. No. I love you. I love you. I LOVE YOU. Sebastian Michaelis, I love you. _But why? Why did he love him? How could he, after what Sebastian had said to him. 'You are my toy.' Those words rang in his head, over and over again.

"Why is my Ciel crying? What did that horrible butler do to you?" Elizabeth had found him, kneeling to the ground, taking him into the folds of her dress. "What happened?" She whispered, trying to soothe him, as if he were a child.

Ciel tried to look into her face, eyes glazed with tears. He tried to let himself be comforted by her, her tried to be attracted to those big brown eyes. It wasn't working. "Nothing, Lizzy. Nothing at all."

Elizabeth's face scrunched up a bit. _You said that earlier. What are you hiding?_ Her look quickly changed to one of concern. "Then let's get you to bed, rest will heal you." She gently took Ciel's hand, pulling him up off the ground.

She walked him to his room, closing the door behind them. "Do you need some help?" She said awkwardly.

"With what?" Ciel sighed, lifting his shirt over his head, ignoring the supposed improperness. Ignoring the fact that a woman was in his bedroom, watching him undress. Only paying attention to the sorrow welling up inside him.

Elizabeth walked up to him, a hungry look in her eyes. "Why do you think women are taught to repress their sexuality?"

Ciel stopped. _Did Elizabeth just say something...interesting?_ "I've never really thought about that, seeing as I'm not a woman." He was making a fool of himself, intentionally. Maybe if Elizabeth could sense his complete lack of attraction, she would back off, at best she would decide not to marry him.

Elizabeth bent down, her cleavage nearly spilling over her dress. She touched Ciel's fingers, than his stomach, eyes wild with lust.

Ciel looked away. "What are you doing, Lizzy?"

"I love you, Ciel," she breathed, wrapping her arms around Ciel's back. "I love you very much." She began to assault his lips, attempting to remove the rest of his clothing. Her tongue was slimy, her lips, repulsive. Those were not the lips of Sebastian.

_What the hell is happening?_ Ciel pushed her away, snatching his clothing from her, wrapping sheets around his lower area.

"Don't you love me?" Elizabeth asked, embarrassment creeping over her; she pushed the top of her dress up, covering up some of her cleavage.

_I love Sebastian._ "Of course I do, Lizzy."

"Then what's wrong? It's my first time too, I'm not scared."

_If only you knew that this isn't even close to my first time. _"We aren't married."

"Ciel! How many times do I have to tell you that I'm a modern woman! I don't care about tradition!"

_It's not about that. It's about the fact that I like men. Men named Sebastian Michaelis._ "I'm sorry, Lizzy. But I'm not ready for that. Maybe some other time, okay?" He had the sense that he was dangerously close to breaking her heart. So maybe he could do it, let the engagement end, guilt free. She would never have to know about Sebastian.

Elizabeth smoothed out the wrinkles in her dress. Her face was scarlet. "Of course." She abruptly left, nearly stomping from the room, trying to flush out the pinkness from her cheeks. The door slammed.

Ciel fell into his bed, breathless. First Sebastian had dismissed him as nothing but a toy, next Elizabeth had thrown herself at him. Why couldn't it be the other way around? Why couldn't Elizabeth think of him as worthless, and Sebastian see him as his whole world? Life was cruel. He closed his eyes, trying to forget everything. Trying his best not to picture Sebastian's face in his mind. Trying not to think about all the lies.

"Ciel?"

He looked up, expecting Elizabeth again, back for more. It was Sebastian.

"If you're here for sex, then sorry, because I'm not in the mood."

"Your heart rate quickens every time you look at me, of course you're in the mood."

"Why do you have to be so cruel, Sebastian? Fine, you don't love me, but does that give you the right to act like a complete bastard all the time?"

Sebastian smiled. "When did this stop becoming a simple agreement? You pleasure me, I pleasure you. Whatever happened?"

"Don't change the subject."

"It's simply in my nature, I suppose. I'm sorry, Ciel, I truly am, but don't expect anything to change. Don't cause yourself anymore pain."

"I'm going to break my engagement with Elizabeth, does that change anything?" Ciel was surprised at his own words. He would go through with it, he had to. He would end his marriage to Elizabeth before it even began.

"That changes absolutely nothing." But Sebastian's voice wavered, ever so slightly.

Ciel caught it. If there was any glimmer of hope, he would hold onto it for dear life. He would make Sebastian love him even if it took everything. He stood up from the bed, brushing Sebastian's lips with his. "Are you sure you don't feel anything?" He kissed him harder, sending both of them to the floor.

"I'm sure." Sebastian's voice wavered even more.


	7. Love

_Sebastian finds himself falling for Ciel, finally! I know how much you all wanted that, haha. And we get a happy Ciel, but don't expect that to last. I'm not that nice :) And what would this story be without some Lizzy making everything harder for poor Ciel? _

_And once again, thank you for all the lovely feedback. The best thing about being a writer is seeing people enjoy your work_

* * *

It was nearly night time, the sun had nearly set, leaving the sky somewhere between orange and black, and the stars peeking out one at a time, as if hesitant on whether they should be out or not. Night time was Ciel's favorite time.

He had taken to meeting Sebastian in the garden at half past midnight for the past four nights. Elizabeth went to bed at approximately eleven o' clock, as Ciel had observed over the past few days. The servants were long asleep by the time Ciel would go outside, and he would pray that Elizabeth wouldn't go to his room and try a repeat performance of seducing him. The thought irked him.

He waited until the sun had completely set, watching out the window in his bedroom. Only a few more hours. His heart grew giddy at the thought of running into the moonlit garden, stealing forbidden kisses from Sebastian. Away from Elizabeth. Away from the world. Away from himself.

Sebastian didn't love him yet, but he would. Ciel knew it. He was still holding onto that little piece of hope that had revealed itself. Sebastian would never admit it, he did all he could to repress it, but Ciel knew the demon felt...something. An itch maybe, a warm feeling tugging at his heart, at least that was what Ciel had first felt, before somewhere along the way that feeling had become a burning.

Ciel occupied himself, playing chess against no one, doing push-ups and sit-ups on the ground, (it was time to rid himself of his scrawny child-like frame) and thinking. Just thinking.

The hours went by agonizingly slowly. It was as if the clock had decided to stop moving.

"Would you like me to play you?" Elizabeth had trounced in, immediately noticing the empty chair across from the chess set.

"Lizzy. No, no thank you. I'm practicing for...a tournament! Yes, I wouldn't be able to concentrate with you here. I would be far too lost in your eyes." _Dear God, did I just say that? How appalling._

Elizabeth blushed. "Do you really like my eyes, Ciel?"

_She actually fell for that? What an idiot._ "They're beautiful." _How many lies have you told?_

Elizabeth took a step closer, taking Ciel's hand gingerly. "Are you still not ready?"

Was Elizabeth seriously going to try that again? After the disaster from a few days ago? She was persistent, Ciel gave her that much, but how much would it take for her to realize that Ciel didn't love her? "Lizzy, please, just let me concentrate." Ciel ignored her question, looking back down at his chess game, having absolutely no intention of finishing it.

"Oh, yes, of course. I'm sorry, Ciel." She left the room. Ciel could hear irritated mumbling from down the corridor.

_You're breaking her heart. And for some reason that doesn't really bother you right now. _

He stared at the clock until it was 12:25. He started to make his way downstairs, making sure all was quiet and still. He silently padded down the stairs, and walked through the corridors like a ghost. He opened the back door, latching it slowly behind him. A sharp intake of breath, he was outside, he was free. Liberated from the confines of Elizabeth.

"It's 12:31. You're late."

Ciel broke into a smile, kissing Sebastian softly. "I had to make sure I didn't caught."

"It's your turn, young master, to be pleasured. What would you have me do?"

"Don't do anything. Just stand there and let me kiss you." Ciel kissed him again, heat flooding his body. "I love you," he whispered.

Sebastian backed away. "I do believe that's the first time you've really admitted it. I mean, it was obvious, but you wouldn't ever just say it. Why now?"

"Because I'm going to make you love me back, Sebastian. I'm going to do everything I can to make you fall hopelessly in love with me." Ciel took a seat down on a nearby bench, beckoning Sebastian to sit with him.

"After I dismissed you as no more than a toy? After I've used you so many times? After I told you that I think of humans as worthless creatures? I see you as no more than the scum of the earth, and yet you have this fixation, this infatuation-"

"Love, it's called love, Sebastian."

Sebastian scoffed. "I do not believe in love, Ciel. I believe in pleasure and passion. But I do not believe in love, it's an idiotic concept, invented by idiotic human beings. You would be wise to believe the same. You would be wise to stop treating what we have as if it were some kind of romantic relationship. It's not. It's an agreement, and that's it." Sebastian sat down on the far side of the bench, edging away from Ciel.

"You sound different. Usually you're just bitchy for the sake of being bitchy. But now, you're actually-" _Flustered. Exasperated. A flustered Sebastian, how wonderfully different._

Sebastian kissed him, cutting off his words. Ciel leaned into him, reaching for the wrinkles in his coat. Sebastian lost his hands somewhere in Ciel's hair, all the while kissing and murmuring into him, his tongue flickering around Ciel's cavern, exploring it for the hundredth time.

Only someone in love could kiss the way Sebastian did. Kissing Ciel as if he was everything, as if it were their last. Ciel smiled into the kiss, returning it forcefully, letting Sebastian lick the tips of his teeth, sending shivers down his body. "At least admit that this is more than an agreement."

Sebastian responded by moving his lips farther down, searing Ciel's throat with a burning lust.

"I'll take that as a, 'yes, young master,'" Ciel said, nudging further into Sebastian. He laughed, letting the older man continue down farther and farther.

He fell asleep in Sebastian's lap sometime later. Sebastian looked down at the younger man, gently running his fingers over the soft head of hair. He sighed, frowning slightly. _Demons do not love humans. Demons do not love. I don't love. I don't love Ciel. _And yet, looking down at those long eyelashes that gently fluttered, and that ivory skin, so fragile and deathly, yet so beautiful, and- _He is your toy. Ciel Phantomhive is worthless to you._ But in his heart, Sebastian knew it wasn't true. The truth was that he was falling for the young man lying in his lap.

"Wake up," he said after an hour or so. "It's almost morning, Finnian and Baldroy will be up soon."

Ciel mumbled something inaudible and blinked sleep from his eyes. He detached himself from Sebastian, standing up on wobbly knees.

_He looks so young, so vulnerable. He is perfect._ Sebastian averted his eyes.

"You didn't leave," Ciel said. "You usually leave."

In all of his thoughts, Sebastian had forgot to leave. "Well, your head was in my lap. I thought that you would wake up eventually and give me a-"

Ciel stopped him, gently pressing his lips to Sebastian's. "Thank you."

Sebastian refrained from making a sarcastic comment. "That's the first time you've ever said that, Ciel." He smiled. "You've grown up."

"Is that niceness I'm hearing, Sebastian?" Ciel tugged on Sebastian's hand, this time, he was the one to leave first.

He ran back into the manor, hurrying to bathe and change his rumpled clothing. Elizabeth would be up soon. By now, it had become routine, bathing, changing, and laying back into his bed, in case Elizabeth were to come by.

She slipped into his room, less than three minutes after he had jumped back into his bed. "I have breakfast."

Ciel accepted it, actually taking a bite out of a muffin.

"You look happy," Elizabeth noted. "Just a few days ago you were so...depressed. So typical Ciel and now, there's something different. You've been happier lately."

Ciel stiffened. "What do you mean? I'm the same as always."

Elizabeth actually laughed, it was harsh rather than playful. "Goodness Ciel! Your mood changes all the time. First you're crying and sobbing like a baby at who knows what, and then you're as high as an opium addict! What the hell is going on with you?"

_I'm breaking her heart even more. Perhaps she'll be the one to end this pathetic engagement?_ "I'm sorry, Lizzy. It's just this chess tournament-"

"There is no chess tournament, Ciel! Stop lying to me, you've been lying to me all week! I'm not stupid, no matter what you think. At first I thought you didn't want to sleep with me because you weren't ready, but that's not it, right? Either I'm so disgusting that you can't fathom the thought of being with me, or there's someone else."

That was the first time Elizabeth had ever raised her voice like that. It was welcome compared to the drab, dullness which Ciel usually associated her with.

There's no one else," Ciel assured her. _Except the demon butler down the hall._

"Then what's going on?" Elizabeth crossed her arms.

"I'm only eighteen! I'm still a hormonal boy, Lizzy! Every youth's mood changes like the wind. What more do you expect from me?" It was a good lie, Ciel had to admit.

Elizabeth was not fooled. She pursed her lips and her voice became very cold. "I still love you, whether you tell me the truth or not." She began to turn away. "I'm sorry...for being so...unladylike." With that she hurried away.

_You promised Sebastian you would break the engagement. What are you doing?_ Ciel stood up and bolted down the corridor, practically running after Elizabeth. He caught her arm. "Lizzy," he said nearly breathless.

Elizabeth's eyes widened. "What-what is it, Ciel?"

"I'm not going to marry you." Ciel's face nearly broke into a grin. "I'm not going to marry you," he said cheerily.

Sebastian had appeared out of nowhere. He was standing in the shadows, a little ways out of Elizabeth's view. He winked at Ciel. _Bravo._

Ciel smiled even wider.

Elizabeth looked like a wreck. "What do you mean you're not going to marry me?" She stepped backwards, defensively. "What do you mean, Ciel?!" Her lips began to wobble.

_This is quite the show_, Sebastian's eyes were saying.

"I don't love you, Lizzy. I can't marry someone I don't love."

Elizabeth's sob almost sounded like a laugh. Her eyes suddenly became very sad. "I'm not going anywhere, Ciel. I'm not giving up on you. I promise that whomever you love, will not love you the way I do." She gathered up her skirts and sauntered away, the flouncy fabric of her dress bouncing around her.

Sebastian stepped out of the shadows. "I'm impressed, young master. Very impressed, indeed. But at the same time, I am most disappointed."

Ciel was taken aback. "What do you mean you're disappointed?"

"You may have just given up your only chance at a normal life, Ciel. If you don't marry Lady Elizabeth, you will never have an heir to the Phantomhive name, your reputation will be ruined-"

"But I can be with you, I won't have to worry about her finding out-"

Sebastian shook his head, almost solemnly. "You will never be able to have a public relationship with me, Ciel. No matter what, you will always be living a lie."

Ciel heard nothing but the word 'relationship.' Sebastian had acknowledged it. He had acknowledged that what they shared was much more than a so-called simple agreement. 'You pleasure me, I pleasure you,' had become 'You love me, I love you.'

"Did you hear what I said, Ciel? Are you listening to me?"

Ciel responded by passionately kissing him, wrapping his arms around Sebastian's waist, his heart racing. "I might regret all of this someday, but today is not that day." Yes, Ciel's world wouldn't be perfect, but he was succeeding in at least one thing; making Sebastian love him. He could tell it was working, he could tell that with every kiss, every touch, Sebastian was falling for him.


	8. Caught

_I spent three hours writing this chapter, I rewrote certain parts like four times, so I hope this is sufficient.__ It's been a few days since we got a nice lemony scene, so I included one of those for your reading pleasure, and of course there's some more bitchy Lizzy. But I have a feeling she's gonna be out of this story pretty soon ^^  
_

* * *

Ciel wandered through the garden, heart speeding up when he saw Sebastian.

Sebastian's back was turned away, facing the moon.

Ciel watched silently for a few moments, feeling as if he had intruded on some private moment. He walked nimbly, readying to wrap his arms around the older man, ready to surprise him.

"I don't like surprises," Sebastian turned around. "It's not past midnight, Ciel. It's only ten, what are you doing?"

"I couldn't keep away."

Sebastian smiled. "Then come inside with me. It's cold, and we'll be uncomfortable if we do it out here." He actually reached out his hand, wiggling his fingers for Ciel to grab hold of.

"Do what, exactly?" Ciel said slyly, taking Sebastian's hand.

"I think you know." Sebastian winked, planting a kiss on Ciel's forehead.

Ciel closed his eyes for a moment, reveling in the sweet touch of Sebastian's lips. "What were _you _doing out before midnight?"

"Meditating."

Ciel laughed. "Sebastian, the demon butler, meditating? What were you thinking about?"

Sebastian looked straight into Ciel's eyes. "You, of course." He suddenly averted his eyes, casting his gaze towards the ground. He pulled his hand away from Ciel. "I shouldn't have said that," he muttered.

"What's wrong?" Ciel tried to retake his hand.

"This was supposed to be an agreement, it was never supposed to go past that."

"You're still on about that? Sebastian, that doesn't matter anymore. I love you and you love me, that's what matters."

Sebastian looked back at him. "When did I ever say, 'I love you?'"

Ciel blushed slightly. "It's written all over your face. You've been doing an awful job of hiding it lately."

"But Ciel, you're supposed to marry Lady Elizabeth-"

"A few weeks ago you tried to have sex with me in the corridor, a few feet away from Elizabeth. And now you're suddenly scared, suddenly hesitant? God, Sebastian, you're becoming more human by the day. And that's a good thing."

Sebastian retook Ciel's hand. "We could have sex in the corridor again," he breathed into Ciel's ear.

Ciel raised his eyebrows. "That sounds like the typical asshole I know."

They laughed, Sebastian leading Ciel into the manor. "I love you, Ciel."

A giddy feeling washed over Ciel. _He said it. He finally said it!_ "I know," were his words, while on the inside he said: _I love you, I love you, a thousand times I love you. _And then: _I sound like a teenage girl._

They reached the inside of the manor, still holding hands, deciding not to drop them. Elizabeth would still be awake, somewhere in the mansion. The servants had most likely already gone to bed. Ciel decided they were safe, free to do whatever they want without worry. He reached up into Sebastian's hair, ruffling it gently.

Sebastian leaned into him, closing his eyes against Ciel's chest.

"So...what are we going to do, Sebastian?"

Sebastian opened his eyes, a playful look entering them. He fingered Ciel's collarbone absentmindedly. "I do believe it is your turn."

Ciel kissed him, pushing him to the ground. "Undress me then."

"Of course, young master." In a few strokes of Sebastian's long fingers, Ciel was completely naked.

"I trust you, Sebastian."

Sebastian's lips curved upwards. "Do you want that again? Me inside of you?"

Ciel nodded. They hadn't done it that way since his first time. He had been too scared to try it again, but now... "I want it more than anything." He helped Sebastian undress, hands trembling.

He looked over Sebastian's lithe, muscular body, running his shaking fingers over the older man's abdomen, stroking it nervously.

"It won't hurt this time," Sebastian said. "I promise."

This new Sebastian was so incredibly wonderful. So different from before, so...gentle. Ciel responded by planting a quick peck on Sebastian's lips. "Does this mean you're going to stop being such a bastard all the time?"

"No promises there, _Ciel_." He turned Ciel over, letting him find a comfortable position. He moved his hands over Ciel's calves, sliding them up his thighs, gently running circles with his fingers. He positioned himself on top of Ciel, hovering a few inches above the younger man. He kissed the small of Ciel's back, making him gasp slightly.

"I'm going to go in now, is that alright?"

Ciel responded by bucking his hips upwards a bit, as if saying: _I want you to right now._

Sebastian first struck a finger into Ciel's hole, moving it up and down in a zigzag motion. When Ciel responded by moaning louder, he added another digit. Ciel grunted in slight discomfort.

"It's okay," Sebastian soothed. He slid yet another finger in, letting Ciel get used to being filled. He swirled his fingers around for a few moments, loosening Ciel's very tight entrance. After he had decided Ciel was sufficiently ready, he pulled his fingers out.

Ciel cried out.

"I won't hurt you," Sebastian said reassuredly. He put out a firm, steadying hand on Ciel, keeping him from moving too much. "I won't hurt you," he said again, placing his cock near Ciel's entrance.

"Do it, Sebastian!" Ciel breathed, sweat running down his face.

"I love you," Sebastian said, and thrust inwards, making Ciel scream, not as loud as he once had, but still sufficiently loud enough to wake up the whole mansion. "Not so loud," Sebastian said softly. He thrust down farther, making Ciel gasp, quieter than before.

Ciel's groans of pain became moans of pleasure as Sebastian pushed farther down, searching for Ciel's sweet spot.

He knew he had hit it when Ciel shuddered violently. "Again," Ciel mumbled almost incoherently.

Sebastian stabbed it again and again, making Ciel mewl and moan in absolute ecstasy. Ciel bucked up in rhythm with his thrusts. Sebastian slipped down deeper, burying himself inside of Ciel, moaning every time Ciel's walls tightened, encasing his cock in their sticky wetness.

Ciel's moans grew louder and louder every time Sebastian thrust, "Keep going," his voice was breathless, body glistening in sweat.

Sebastian sped up, hitting Ciel harder and faster, with all of his strength. He was on the verge of orgasm, hearing Ciel growl sent him to the very edge. He buried himself as deep as he could go, tickling Ciel's spot over and over again.

"Sebastian!" Ciel screamed as he reached his limit, white liquid shooting out of him, staining the carpet, body shaking wildly.

Sebastian came a moment later, riding Ciel's orgasm as well as his own, groaning and shuddering against Ciel. He fell onto the floor next to the younger man, his arms sore from holding himself up for so long, his chest rose and fell rapidly. "I told you I wouldn't hurt you," he gasped, short of breath.

Ciel reached over and kissed him, nuzzling his head gently over Sebastian's stomach, resting it there. Sebastian caressed his face for a moment, letting his hand rest on Ciel's lips. Ciel licked the digits, softly, tongue flickering in and out. "I like you this way, Sebastian," he said. "I like the gentle you."

They lay there for several minutes, conscious only to each other. They did not notice Elizabeth standing in the doorway.

"Ciel!"

Ciel looked up in alarm. He jumped up, diving for his clothing. Sebastian stood up after him, calmer, but clearly alert. "Lizzy! I-I thought you were asleep," Ciel stammered. "How long have you been standing there?"

"Long enough to see what happened. I knew there was someone, but him? Your butler? What the hell are you thinking, Ciel?!" Elizabeth's face was scarlet with anger, and perhaps embarrassment from walking into the very private, very intimate moment. "How could you betray me like this?" She hissed.

Sebastian put a reassuring hand on Ciel's shoulder. Ciel glanced at it momentarily, an acknowledgement of their relationship, _in Elizabeth's presence. _"I told you I wasn't going to marry you, Lizzy."

Elizabeth snorted. "You have to, Ciel. You _have to_. Go ahead, play around with your little butler toy, but you _will _marry me. Don't you think for a minute that whatever you have with him will last. It's impossible, it's-"

"Shut up," Sebastian said forcefully.

Both Ciel and Elizabeth looked up at him, Elizabeth with fury, Ciel in pure gratitude.

"Get out of this house, you clearly do not belong. Leave Ciel Phantomhive and find someone else. Find someone else to irritate, to seduce, to _enslave_." Sebastian took a step towards Elizabeth. "Leave."

Elizabeth's mouth was a little 'o.' "Who the hell do you think you are?"

"Ciel's boyfriend."

Ciel looked at Sebastian again, eyes glistening with happiness. _He just called himself my boyfriend._

Elizabeth laughed madly, insanity written all over her face. "How bold, Sebastian Michaelis. How bold indeed. But honestly, do you two realize the mess you've gotten yourself into? I can tell all of Britain about this. I can make you suffer, Ciel. What will the Queen think of her precious little guard dog when she finds out about this?"

Ciel tugged on Sebastian's hand. "Are you threatening me, Elizabeth?"

"Lizzy. You call me Lizzy and nothing else."

"Alright, _Lizzy_, why? Why are you threatening the man you love?"

Elizabeth's cheeks flushed. "You are not the man I love. That butler stole him. What did you do to my Ciel, Sebastian? What did you do to my Ciel?!"

Sebastian laughed heartily. "Ciel is not your property."

"Fine. The Queen will hear about this. The Phantomhive name will be destroyed," she hissed, turning on her heel, turning her head away so that Ciel could not see her cry. "You'll love me someday, Ciel. Just wait." With that she ran down the corridor, up the stairs, and out of sight.

_Oh God. What is going to happen to me? I'll lose everything. I'll lose the mansion, the estate, my own name. I'll be mocked, shamed, and then shunned. I might have to flee the country, I might-No. No. I'll have Sebastian. He is all I want. All I need. I will be okay._ Ciel buried himself back into Sebastian's grip. "We will be okay. We will." But a hollow feeling was already growing in his stomach.

_Damn you, Elizabeth Midford. Damn you._


	9. Death

_Lizzy haters will love this chapter :)_

* * *

_Dear Ciel Phantomhive,_

_ Your presence is requested at Buckingham Palace as immediately as you are able. _

_ -Her Majesty the Queen_

Ciel crumpled the letter and dropped it to the floor, hands trembling. He kicked his desk, hung his head and nearly began to sob.

"What is it, Ciel?"

He looked up, Sebastian already had a hand on his shoulder.

Sebastian reached down and picked up the letter, unfolding it. He read it over and slowly ripped it apart. "Don't worry about it," he said calmly. "It's probably just a meeting to see how the company is doing. Or maybe she just wants to sit down with her favorite guard dog over a cup of tea." Sebastian tried to smile, but it came out as more of a grimace.

"Elizabeth left over a week ago. That's enough time for her to get to the Queen and have a letter sent here."

Sebastian sighed. "Maybe Lady Elizabeth didn't-"

Ciel stood up, banging the desk with his fists. "Of course she did, Sebastian! Of course she told the Queen everything!" Under his breath he added: "Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned."

"But she loves you-"

"You're a demon, Sebastian. You should know better than anyone how humans work. Elizabeth wants to win me back, she'll compete for my love if she has to. And she's certainly beyond reckoning with. You saw how completely mad she was, she's simply beyond understanding that I'll never return her feelings."

Sebastian snorted. "She thinks that the way to a man's heart is by destroying his life? Yes, I'm a demon, but even I've never seen a human that foolish!"

Ciel smiled slightly. "But there is a chance that the Queen saw Elizabeth's madness as well. Perhaps she took everything Elizabeth might have said with a grain of salt. Maybe she just wants to see me, so that I can confirm Elizabeth's alleged lies."

"Why would the Queen have any reason to doubt you? You've been her loyal guard dog for years, Elizabeth Midford is of little importance to her. She would believe anything you told her."

Ciel nodded in agreement. "Then it's settled. We'll go to London. And we won't let Elizabeth win."

"I shall make preparations immediately, young master," Sebastian said with a sarcastic tone.

"I think I'm actually warming up to you calling me 'Ciel' now."

Sebastian kissed Ciel fleetingly and left the study, readying for the short journey to Buckingham Palace.

Ciel stayed behind and sat for a while, thinking. _What if the Queen doesn't believe me? Of course, she has no reason not to, but on the oft chance that she doesn't? What will I do? What will Elizabeth do?_ He surveyed the study, contemplating that this might just be the last he saw of it. _What if I'm banished? _But that was silly, to be banished for being in a relationship with another man. Ciel had broken the law before, he had committed far worse than crimes than loving the wrong person. The Queen herself had ordered some of those crimes, so why would anything change? Ciel decided that he was just being paranoid. Everything would be okay.

Sebastian reappeared an hour later. "We can leave right now, if you'd like."

Ciel nodded and stood up. "We'll be okay, right Sebastian?" His voice wavered.

"I promise, Ciel."

They sat down in the carriage. Mey-Rin, Baldroy, and Finnian all stood at the door, waving at them as the carriage pulled away. They had no idea what was going on. They had no idea why Elizabeth had even left, let alone what was going on between Sebastian and Ciel. But they did suspect something was wrong. They wore worried looks on their faces.

Ciel looked away from them, and instead turned his gaze to the man sitting across from him. "I'm scared," he admitted. _But why? I have Sebastian. He's always been there. He's saved my life. Why should I fear a mad girl and her accusations? I've faced much worse. Be strong, Ciel._

Sebastian reached across and kissed Ciel's forehead, as if he were a small child needing comfort. "I promise you, everything will be okay. Trust me, Ciel," he breathed.

They rode the rest of the way in silence, Ciel fidgeting with his hands, Sebastian absentmindedly glancing out the window every so often. When the carriage stopped, Ciel jumped out, smoothing his clothing, a glaze of sweat already on his brow. Sebastian stepped out a moment after him, holding his hand up to shield himself from the bright sun. _How ironic. The sun choosing to shine on a dark day like this._

Ciel squeezed Sebastian's hand for a second, dropping it when a man walked past. "Shall we go in then?"

Sebastian held his arm out, bowing slightly. "Of course, Ciel-young master."

They walked up the palace steps, Ciel ahead by a few paces. He pretended to be annoyed. "Sebastian, hurry up! Her majesty does not wait for fools like you!" He slowed his pace, furtively saying something into Sebastian's ear, "We must put on a show. We can't let the Queen figure out the truth."

Sebastian bowed again, "I apologize, young master." He rolled his eyes though, when he said it, making Ciel smile.

They went through the grand doors, ushered in by an attendant. "Earl Phantomhive?"

Ciel nodded. "Her majesty has requested my presence."

"Of course, sir. She is in the ballroom right now, there's going to be a party tonight, and she wants to make sure the preparations are going smoothly. Shall I take you to her right now, or would you prefer to meet her in a more private setting?"

"She requested my presence as soon as possible. Please take me to her."

The attendant bowed deeply, "Yes sir." He led Ciel and Sebastian down a few different corridors, turning every so often. He occasionally pointed out different points of interest; Ciel paid no attention.

Sebastian touched his fingers, lightly. Ciel whisked around, almost laughing. _We're in public._

_I don't care_, Sebastian said back silently.

_Of course you don't. You're Sebastian Michaelis._ Ciel smiled and moved farther ahead.

"And here we are, sir. Her majesty is just inside those doors. Is there anything you require?"

"No, thank you for your time." Ciel bowed and waved the attendant away. He turned to Sebastian. "Like I said, the Queen cannot figure us out. We must make sure she has no reason to doubt me. And then we can get out of this awful palace and hopefully we'll never have to deal with Elizabeth again." _We'll be free._

But again, that hollow feeling was creeping into him. _Go away!_ He pushed open the ballroom doors, momentarily mesmerized by the beauty of the room. Queen Victoria had never invited him to a ball before, and he had a feeling that she wasn't about to.

"Your majesty," he said, kneeling.

Queen Victoria was draped in black, still mourning after all these years. "Ciel Phantomhive. I see you brought your butler." She glanced at Sebastian, her expression hidden behind the black drape. "Lady Elizabeth Midford came by three days ago. She insisted on meeting with me, personally. Now you know I'm not one for meeting with just anybody. But she insisted that she had something of interest to me. A story about you, my most loyal watchdog." The Queen moved closer to Ciel. "She was positively insane, if you ask me. I had a hard time believing that she was your betrothed. But as you can imagine, I brightened when she told me you broke the engagement. I was also a bit confused. You broke it off because of an alleged romantic relationship with your butler. That's a bit unlike the Ciel Phantomhive I know, isn't it?"

Ciel wasn't sure what to think. _Is she angry with me or not?_ "I do suppose it sounds out of character, your majesty, but I assure you, it's a lie. You cannot listen to a word Elizabeth says."

"So you are still engaged?"

Ciel was taken aback. _I'm a terrible liar._ "No. It's true that I did break the engagement, but because Elizabeth was mad. You see, she needs help. I cannot marry someone like that."

"Why would your betrothed come to me with such information? Even if you are seeing your butler, that's no business of mine. Plenty of men cheat on their wives, plenty of men cheat on their wives with other men. It's a common practice, however atrocious."

The hollow feeling in Ciel's stomach lessened slightly. "So it doesn't matter then?"

The Queen laughed. "You are my most loyal, something as small as this could not bother me. Others yes, but not me. Go ahead, continue seeing your butler if that's what makes you happy, Ciel. God knows you need a little bit of happiness in your life."

Ciel's jaw dropped. The hollowness completely evaporated. "You knew then, that I was seeing him?"

"However mad Lady Elizabeth is, she is also very honest. She is also very stupid. I am certainly not the person to come to with such gossip. It was a bit fun to hear though."

Ciel actually laughed.

Sebastian stepped up to him, taking his hand firmly. "Where is Lady Elizabeth right now?"

The Queen's voice lowered, becoming less cheerful, more serious. "When I dismissed her story as rubbish, she went running to everybody and anybody who would listen. I suspect most of London has heard by now, I don't know how many actually care, but I'm sure there are some. Your reputation will be tarnished, Ciel, about that, there is nothing I can do. The Funtom company will suffer, you will lose profit, and you may be shunned by some. I am sorry."

_This is much better than I could have hoped for. _"Thank you, your majesty." Ciel bowed, and to his surprise, Sebastian did too.

"You can attend the ball later tonight if you wish, Ciel. Although I wouldn't recommend him as your date," she gestured towards Sebastian. "But he is certainly a handsome fellow, I'm glad for you. Now please leave. I've business to attend to."

Ciel hugged Sebastian tightly. "So everything really _will_ be okay."

Sebastian ruffled his hair. "I_ did_ promise you."

"Do you want to stay for the ball then?" Ciel asked.

"I cannot accompany you."

"I don't care. You can still be there though."

Sebastian smiled. "It's been a while since we've attended anything formal, hasn't it?"

"Yes, we were much too busy with other things weren't we?" Ciel stared into Sebastian's eyes for several moments, his own eyes glistening with happiness. Of course, happiness was not meant to last.

They left the palace, readying to depart in their carriage, when Elizabeth appeared out of nowhere. "Ciel!" She screamed, curls disheveled about her face.

Both Ciel and Sebastian whisked around, alarmed. "

"My Ciel!"

"Lizzy." Ciel said darkly. "What are you doing?"

"I told everyone, Ciel. I told everyone about you and that disgusting butler of yours. All of England will know by tomorrow!" Elizabeth looked like a hungry animal. "And you will love me. You will, just you wait."

"Lizzy, please. Please calm down." Ciel tried to put a steadying arm out.

Elizabeth scoffed. "You broke my heart, Ciel. You broke my heart!" She spit each word, making Ciel recoil backwards.

"And you think that trying to ruin my life will make me love you? Do you really believe that will work?"

Elizabeth laughed maniacally. There were several bystanders now, gathering around the mad girl and the two handsome men. "What else can I do?" She said, voice cracking.

"Let's go," Sebastian said, trying to pull Ciel into the carriage.

Ciel waved him off. "I'm sorry, Elizabeth. I'm sorry, but you must understand. I don't love you. I _can't_ love you."

"But you love him?" Elizabeth shot a dark look at Sebastian. "Do you really love him?"

Ciel gazed at Sebastian when he said: "I love him more than anything."

Several of the bystanders gasped. Some began to whisper, others walked away in horror or disgust.

"Is that really true?" Elizabeth said in a very small voice, tears streaming down her face.

"Yes," Ciel confirmed. And to Sebastian's great surprise and delight, he kissed him on the mouth. Sebastian returned the kiss, pressing himself against Ciel, hands getting lost in that hair of his.

The crowd was in an uproar. Some actually smiled and there were a few audible squeals of joy. Someone began to clap, a few others joined in. When Ciel and Sebastian broke apart, they were both a deep shade of scarlet.

Elizabeth nearly collapsed. She began to sob loudly, insanely. "But you're _my _Ciel," she whispered. "You're my Ciel." She turned around, tripping over her skirts. "I lost," she said almost inaudibly, before making a dash to the fountain in front of the palace.

Sebastian nudged Ciel's arm. "She's going to kill herself."

Sure enough, Elizabeth was standing in the middle of the road, knees wobbling, body wracking with sobs, holding a knife.

"Elizabeth!" Ciel screamed out. "Where the hell did she get a knife?"

Several people watched her, screaming for her to drop the knife, trying to save her. One brave man actually approached her; Elizabeth stabbed him in the shoulder, making him call her a 'stupid bitch,' and running off.

"Lizzy! Please. Don't do this." Ciel slowly stalked towards her, Sebastian right on his heel.

"My Ciel," she said one last time before plunging the knife into her heart.


	10. Curiosity

The next few hours went by in a flash. There was a young women's body, pale and small in death, a blood-soaked dress, and a steady stream of red running down the street. Suffice to say, there was no ball that night.

Ciel remembered a few moments, here and there. Kneeling over Elizabeth's body, staining his fingers with blood, shaking, and sobbing. Being in Sebastian's comforting arms. Being rocked back and forth like a little infant. And then sleep. There was a lot of sleep.

Ciel opened his eyes, groggily. They were framed in red, puffy and swollen from crying. The tips of Sebastian's fingers were just a few inches away. The older man's eyes were closed, he was apparently asleep. But Ciel knew better. "Sebastian?" He said, his throat incredibly dry.

Sebastian's face sprang to life. "Ciel," he said softly, his lips curling as he spoke the name.

"How long have I slept?"

"A little over a day. I was beginning to get worried."

_Sebastian, worried about me. _Ciel sat up slowly, he had no recollection of ever going to bed. "What happened?" He asked, his voice already wobbling.

"Elizabeth killed herself."

"After that."

Sebastian's eyes darkened. "There was a lot of blood. Someone lifted her body up and carried her away, that's all I saw. And then you were screaming and I had to shove you in the carriage. I had to get you out of there." Sebastian said no more, he didn't bother going into more detail.

Ciel didn't very much feel like hearing anymore anyway. He felt nauseous. "Do you think she's happy now, Sebastian?" Ciel let fresh tears fall. _Is she in a better place then the hell I put her through? _

"I don't know," Sebastian said truthfully.

"Is it my fault? Is it my fault she killed herself?" Ciel's face was already soaked in tears. _She was insane, and that was because of me, right? I'm the one who rejected her._

Sebastian sighed and closed his eyes, they were still closed when he spoke. "It's not your fault, Ciel."

_But how can I believe that? I'm the one who broke her heart. I destroyed her. _"But I broke her heart, Sebastian. Do you remember the look on her face when I said I wouldn't marry her? Do you remember how I looked so triumphant and happy, and I didn't even notice how she looked so...broken? I broke her, Sebastian. I broke her." Ciel's voice cracked.

Sebastian opened his eyes, almost crying himself, seeing the devastated look on Ciel's face. "I'm so sorry, Ciel. I'm so sorry."

"I broke her, I broke her, I broke her..."Ciel trailed off, breaking down into a fresh sob. "Do you think I could have ever loved her?" He said in a very quiet voice.

"Perhaps at one time, if you had never met me, if you had never made a deal with a demon. But you don't wish that, Ciel. I know you don't." Sebastian cupped Ciel's chin, reaching down and staring at those sorrowful eyes. _It's breaking __**me**__ to see you like this._

"Yes," Ciel said softly. "I don't wish that." He rubbed the tears from his eyes, returning the concerned gaze. "So how is the company doing? Is there anything bad yet?" He made an effort to look cheerful, indifferent to Elizabeth's death. It wasn't working.

"There's nothing yet, Ciel. It will probably be a while." Sebastian stood up from the chair by Ciel's bed and stretched. "It's okay to grieve. It's okay to be sad."

Ciel's voice cracked again. He fell back onto the sheets, staining the pillow with his teardrops. "I shouldn't feel like this, Sebastian. I shouldn't feel so guilty. She was a terrible, mad, person. I shouldn't feel like this towards someone like _that_."

Sebastian sighed. "She was your cousin, your friend, of course you feel guilty. I know you well, Ciel. You're a human, vulnerable to irrationality, guilt, remorse, all of those terrible feelings. You're not invincible and that's okay."

Ciel's eyes shined. "Thank you," he said quietly.

"Do you want breakfast?" Sebastian said suddenly. He reached his hand out.

Ciel studied the hand for a moment. "Together?"

Sebastian laughed, despite the somber mood in the room. "All of England knows about us. I think we can eat breakfast together in our own home."

_Our home. _Ciel was no longer 'master.' Sebastian was no longer 'butler.' They were equals now, in every way. "I love you," Ciel breathed, nearly crying again, this time out of joy.

Sebastian smiled at him, radiant. He grabbed Ciel's hand and pulled him out of the bed, wrapping his arms around him, holding him for a second. He kissed Ciel's neck. "I love you too." He kissed Ciel's lips.

They walked down the stairs, hand in hand. Mey-Rin, Finnian, and Baldroy were all seated at the table. They looked up as the two men walked in. Mey-Rin immediately blushed. Baldroy clapped his hands. Finnian broke into a smile. Ciel cleared his throat, a little embarrassedly. Sebastian's grip on his hand tightened. _We're free,_ his gaze said.

_We are. We're really okay. _Ciel sat down, finally letting go of Sebastian's hand.

"Today we have an assortment of culinary choices including: pancakes, crepes, waffles, and toast with jam..."

Ciel watched Sebastian speak, a serene, peaceful look on his face. _Elizabeth is gone. We can be together freely now. We don't have to worry about being discovered, all of England already knows. And do they really care? Do they really care about a man loving another man? There are far worse things to worry about in the world._ He smiled a little bit, Sebastian caught his gaze, winking.

He placed a plate of food in front of Ciel. "Seeing as you slept for so long, you must be starving."

"Ravenous." Ciel took a bite, then another, into a waffle.

"I've never seen young master eat like that!" Mey-Rin whispered.

Sebastian smiled. "You've never seen young master truly happy before now. I do believe we will be seeing a lot of this." And to Ciel's ears only, he added: "I'm glad you're finally happy." He kissed the tip of Ciel's ear, making Ciel shiver.

Ciel let go of all the guilt, all of the pain he felt towards Elizabeth. She was gone, Sebastian was here. _Sebastian is here and he is now. He is all that matters._ Yes, there may have been a time when he would have loved Elizabeth. And maybe she wouldn't have gone mad, maybe she wouldn't have done what she did if Ciel had loved her. But that was a 'what-if.' There were a lot of 'what-ifs.' What if he had never met Sebastian? What if his parents hadn't died? What if he had never faced all the things in his childhood that children should never face? What if, what if, what if...

"So," Sebastian said, arms around Ciel's waist, "We don't have to meet in the garden anymore."

Ciel laughed. "I kind of liked it though."

Sebastian winked. "Then meet me there later." He stood up. "Of course, after you eat." He paused. "Young master."

_What if I had never let myself love Sebastian? What if I had never let my curiosity get the better of me? _He smiled. _Thank God I did._

_**~The End~**_

* * *

_Yes, it's the end, I know, you don't want it to end, right? But I think it's a good ending, and being the perfectionist that I am, I don't want to continue it with a crappy or nonexistent plot. Yes, I could write fifty more chapters of lemons, I could somehow bring Lizzy back to life, I could even bring in Grell or Claude, or even Alois! But I think this story has been told, and anything else would have to be in a sequel. _

_Thank you for reading! I love all of you and thank you for your reviews, favorites, and follows. 3_

_And I will be writing another SebxCiel, an AU. So watch out for that. :) _


End file.
